What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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