I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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