so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
