Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
