My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
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