You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
