i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
