i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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