hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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