You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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