i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
