i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize