Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
