I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
