You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
