I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
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