Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
