Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
