Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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