anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
And then my night got REAL pukey
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
