Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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