coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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