i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
