the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
