tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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