All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
