just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Randomize
