The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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