I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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