weddingsv make me drug and hornr
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
