I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
