think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
