Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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