Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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