You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
