If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
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