I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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