I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
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