shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Randomize
