She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
