Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
