the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Randomize
