i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
