that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
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