Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
