My cat gives me a boner
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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