He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
