I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
