how can u be prego again
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
