so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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