I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
