I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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