Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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