Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
