I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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