fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Randomize
