yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize